Can Divorce Liberate You?

If people despise divorce, why do they opt for it? Are people really happier after a divorce? Let us analyse the reality for a better understanding.

Staying Married Vs Divorce

Most of the people going through a bad marriage assume that they would be happy and liberated once they get out of the relationship. They feel divorce will free them of their pain and responsibilities. But, in reality, when they face the actual separation, they struggle for months and, in some cases, even years, to free themselves of the emotional bondage.

While divorce might solve the household brawls, it gives rise to a host of new problems. It brings about financial stress. It also brings a lot of emotional stress due to the feelings of anger, betrayal, etc. towards the spouse. So, instead of locking up in a fight with your spouse over the household work, you would end up fighting over other issues such as child custody, alimony, child maintenance, etc.

On the other hand, if both of you work towards saving the marriage, you might be able to rebuild the lost love. According to the findings of a research, three-fifth of the couples who had a bad marriage reported to have a happy life with their spouse, when interviewed five years later. By saving the marriage, you are not just saving yourself from unseen problems but you are providing a happy family atmosphere for your children to grow up as well.

When Divorce is Bliss

Despite these general scenarios discussed above, there are indeed some special instances, where divorce has proved to be bliss. There are people who have reported of being happy and enjoy their life after ending their marriage.

So, let us now analyse the causes that turn a person’s marriage into a disaster and divorce a reason to rejoice.

1. Abusive Partner

There are people who abuse their spouse emotionally or physically. Living with an abusive partner can prove to be a nightmare. Last year, nearly 17% of the divorced people claimed physical or emotional abuse as the cause for divorce.

Physical Abuse: It is surprising to know that the cases of abuse are increasing over the years instead of declining. While some people indulge in physical abuse under the influence of alcohol, there are others who use this as a tool to control their spouse.
Sexual abuse is also a form of physical abuse. Apart from the physical pain inflicted to the victim, the person also undergoes a lot of emotional distress. This can even affect the children psychologically.
Emotional Abuse: There is no clear-cut definition for an emotional abuse. When your spouse tries to control your actions by threatening to hurt you, criticising you constantly, humiliating you in public, etc. it could be a symptom of emotional abuse. Although there is no physical harm inflicted in these cases, it can lead to lowered self-esteem, loss of self-confidence, fear, etc. in the victim.

Remedy

In such a case, convince your partner to seek professional help to mend his or her ways. In case he or she fails to do so, divorce might be the only option left. And after a divorce from such a partner, the spouse would generally feel relieved and happy.

2. Abusive towards Children

Sometimes, your spouse might physically, emotionally and at times even sexually abuse your children. When you are away from home, you might even fear leaving behind your children in lone company of your spouse. By abusing, your spouse is jeopardising the entire future of the children. A divorce in these cases is inevitable in the best interest of the children and a person is certainly bound to feel relieved after ending such a relationship.

3. Unreasonable Dictator

In some marriages, one of the partners might try to control every activity of the other partner. He or she would not let the spouse to decide or take their opinion whether it is about purchasing a house or choosing a restaurant to go to dinner.

It is difficult to stay caged and lead a life of slavery based on the instructions of the other person. A divorce in these cases would definitely be liberating to the victim and it is natural to feel happy after a divorce.

The Final Word

Although divorce can be painful to many, it is not always true. In some cases, divorce can be bliss and bring a fresh ray of hope to enjoy life which was amiss while in the relationship.

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com