Here are some funny grave epitaphs taken from real headstones.
Anna Lovett - England
Beneath this stone
And not above it
Lie the remains of
Anna Lovett
Be pleased good reader
Not to shove it
Least she should come
Again above it.
For 'twixt you and I,
No one does covet
To see again this
Anna Lovett
Tim Mcgrew - Topeka, Kansas
Here lies Sheriff Tim
McGrew who said
He would arrest Bill
Hessessy or die -
He was right.
Anonymous - London, England
Beneath this silent
Stone is laid
A noisy antiquated
Maid
Who from the cradle
Talked to death,
And ne'er before was
Out of breath.
Edgar Oscar Earl - England
Beneath this grassy
Mound now rests
One Edgar Oscar Earl,
Who to another
Hunter looked
Exactly like a squirrel.
Anonymous - Cleveland, Ohio
I thought it was a
Mushroom when
I found it in the woods
Forsaken
But since I sleep
Beneath this mound,
I must have been
Mistaken.
Matthew Hollingshead - Northumberland, England
Here lies Matthew
Hollingshead,
Who died from cold
Caught in his head
It brought on fever and
rheumatiz
Which ended me
For here I is
Owen Moore - Boston Mass.
Owen Moore:
Gone away
Owin' more
Than he could pay.
John Timothy Snow - Tombstone, Ariz.
Here lies John
Timothy Snow, who
Died fighting for a
Lady's honor (She
wanted to keep it).
Here lies the bones
Of Joseph Jones
Who ate whilst he was
Able
But, once o'er fed
He dropt down dead
And fell beneath the
Table
When from the tomb
To meet his doom,
He rises amidst
Sinners;
Since he must dwell
In Heav'n or Hell
Take him - which
Gives best dinners.
